funny today

OOTO

2004-08-09T08:43:00.000-07:00

funny today will be out of the office this month. maybe longer. please enjoy our absence.

join me

2004-08-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

is melanie griffith insane or just out of her mind?

name that index

2004-08-03T07:27:00.000-07:00

What book do these selected index selections come from?

INDEX
Abscess, 839
Anus:
-chapped, from spinach, 187
-fissure, 514
Bite wounds:
-from animal or human, 742-43
Cola drinks, 349
Dexadrine, 503
Electric Shock, 746-47, 756
Hats, see Caps
Mental retardation, 569-76, 877-78
Music, 461-62
-rock and roll, 652-53
"Quality" time, 12-13
Shingles, 855

The book is a huge non-fiction bestseller, available at megastore near you. First correct guesser ("Winner") to receive awe-inspired silence from incorrect guessers and abstainers ("Losers"). Winner also entitled to one (1) hour of bloated pride. Good luck and Godspeed.

received, part I

2004-08-02T09:44:00.000-07:00

received in the mails...and dumped into comments. enjoy.

the language of the divine

2004-07-31T06:56:00.000-07:00

given up on music? hope is on the way: steven seagal's songs from the crystal cave.

(fm. the magazine reader)

podium fetish

2004-07-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

photoblog expects convention bounce.

everything but steve perry

2004-07-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

the rock 'n' roll holiday escape sounds like a dream come true. but read the fine print: kosher meals are not available.

Ode to Google

2004-07-28T08:39:00.000-07:00

8/3: Since a week has yielded only one Google hit from this post--"Marie Sharapova" (the name's Maria)--here's a new, all-misspellings version:

I sing a song of search engine optimization, of Parris Hilton Sex Tape, Brittany Spears Honeymoon, Pam Andersen Jucuzzi. Of Marie Sharapova. Of Body Piercing, JLo, Hot Animay, Easy Refy. Olson Twins Bulemia, Olson Twins Cocane Adicktion, Olson Twins Caught On Tape. Dirty Nekkid People, Supermoduls Baring All, Without Clothes, Laughing. Jon Kerry 8mm. HTML, RSS, NFL, MLB, Triumf the Insult Comic Dog, Vigo Mortenson. Lezbian Real Estate, Lezbian Travel, Lezbian Microsoft. Martha Stuart Prison, Enron Indightment, M. Night Shamalian's Disgusting Secret. KaZzaA, Dragunball, IRS, Kobe Briant, eBay, Christmus. Online Poeker, Texas Hold Them, Jessica Simpson Booob Job, Free Muney Now. Crash Dieet, Wieght Watchers, Atkyns, South Beech Diet, Michael More Fatsuit. NASCAR, Hary Potter. Lindsey Lohan, War in Iraque. Hillary Duff, The Byble.

Results to follow.

danson

2004-07-27T03:59:00.000-07:00

the faces of ted danson

cities without c

2004-07-26T11:43:00.000-07:00

John Ashcroft isn't just a great balladeer (some say the best in the history of the Attorney General's office) . He's also, it turns out, a top-notch, make-you-do-flips-down-the-center-aisle gospel man. "Can't be satisfied in cities without C," he sings. Which raises a question: Just what is Ashcroft's connection to the international vitamin cartel?

whoever wins, we lose

2004-07-23T15:22:00.001-07:00

we’ve all enjoyed “freddy vs. jason” and plan to cheer “alien vs. predator.” here’s hoping that, following these triumphs hollywood moves on to new, even more thrilling franchise match-ups. some suggestions:

The Santa Clause vs. Bicentennial Man

M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village vs. William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet

Scooby Doo vs. Benji

XXX vs. Hairy Honeys

The People vs. Larry Flynt vs. Kramer vs. Kramer

jump in any time.

stevie & me

2004-07-23T11:13:00.000-07:00

all i want for christmas.

not this ron weiner

2004-07-23T11:05:00.000-07:00

not this ron weiner, though he offers good listening, too.

the count chocula movie

2004-07-23T08:08:00.000-07:00

ron weiner asks a question in song, how would you make the count chocula movie?

lessons learned

2004-07-22T12:39:00.000-07:00

what's the hold-up? build your own tron costume, already.

ha

2004-07-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

funny stuff on the way.

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